Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Randomize
