it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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