We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Randomize
