you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Randomize
