I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
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