definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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