I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
high people should be assigned attendants
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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