i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
