Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize