Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Randomize
