She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
