Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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