At least make sure they are 18
Why
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
