New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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