It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
