Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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