whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
