it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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