Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
