eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
