Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize