I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
