you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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