Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
