its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
