ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
