Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Randomize
