My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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