I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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