y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
