Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
