hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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