I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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