i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
