If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
how does that bad decision feel?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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