I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
My bed smells like the plague
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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