The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
