But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Randomize
