It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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