Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
