hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
