I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
