I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
