There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
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