nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
