I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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