Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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