This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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