Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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