Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
If I had your ass I would rule the world
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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