Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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