i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize