I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
did you just send me my own nude
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize