Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize
