It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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