I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
