before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
