Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
so much tequila, so little girl.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize