I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
