That's intense
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
