Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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